1. Fans. A stupid enough place to start. Fans are the life blood of any football club. Their hard desire to dress up like men they don't really know is what keeps any club in business. These people are also The biggest problem with modern football. The number one reason why most football fans are such a problem is that they fail to see there are more leagues around the world then Sky Sports would have you believe. You'd think with the Internet that the bloke down your local would see that the Premier League isn't as good as Andy Gray says.
2. Telly. If it weren't bad enough that they shoved their ill informed biased views up everybody's face in HD, they now can't even slow down the hype-machine to get the basics right like the laws of the game for instance. When a player should be booked and not be booked is decided by a referee at the time and not some tosser who has seen the replay 6 times so stop acting superior. Also, you think they'd work a little harder when a team from outside Britain plays in a European competition to get the name of said team right. Channel 5 for example seem to think that El Atleti are know as Athaletico. It's just fucking moronic.
3. The Players. I in all honesty don't mind that some players pretend to be hurt to get a penalty or something. It's part of the modern game and it's only to gain an advantage for their team. I also don't care that their paid a year more then the population of Greece. Something much, much worse is afoot. Advertising. Please for the love of god stop trying to make me buy things that have nothing to do with football. How my car runs in 'Hot Pluy-seez' or 'Cold Pluy-seez' is none of your concern Cristiano Ronaldo. Your there to score goals, not to do my fucking M.O.T.
4. Sullivan and Gold. Stop breathing. It's the kindest thing for everyone. That jacket aside, statements like 'The Premier League is the greatest league the world has ever known' and 'All West Ham players except for Scott Parker are for sale' prove that this pair of tits know pretty much nothing about owning a football club, 'pretty much nothing' being above 'absolutely fuck all' which is the rank befitting of any of Portsmouth's owners this last season.
5. Jamie Redknap. He literally doesn't make any sense.
Honourable mentions to Dean Windass (lovely bloke but rubbish as a pundit), FIFA (what do they actually do?), The Sun (thanks a bunch for that fucking Terry Venables singing advert), football in 3D (a pointless novelty that I really want to try) and Arsene Wenger (you haven't won anything for four years. Maybe it's time to stop picking kids in the Carling Cup.)
