22/03/2011

If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play Football

In the 1920's whilst manager of Huddersfield, Herbert Chapman arranged for gramophone records to be played over the public address system to keep the crowd entertained before games and at half-time. Since that day football and music have gone hand in hand like a Premier League footballer and a sex scandal. There are examples of this phenomenon elsewhere but it remains a largely British tradition. But, the relationship between the two art forms has changed in recent years. Fans were once content to to morph pop classics into hymns about their club heroes. They now express annoyance at having their every celebration undermined by stadium announcers with terrible timing. I would be inclined to agree. 'Duh-Duh Duh, Nuh-Nuh-Nuh-Na' will never be a match for cries of passion. Just ask any women I've ever slept with.

Let's not forget however, that prior to Chelsea Dagger and half hour Muse tracks there was a tradition which is now largely ignored: The Cup Song.

The first trace of such a song was in the 1930's when Arsenal released a gramophone record. Probably something to do with Chapman. The first commercial success however was the England national team's 1970 World Cup squad with 'Back Home'.



'Back Home' sounds as though it was recorded during a particularly heavy session down their local but it somehow became a hit, staying at number 1 on the singles chart for three weeks after knocking off Norman Greenbaum's 'Spirit in the Sky'. This also proved something that Elton John would find out after the death of Princess Diana: If people are emotionally invested in something, they will buy any old piece of shit record. Throughout the rest of the 1970's England failed to qualify for the 74 and 78 World Cups leaving Scotland to pick up the mantle with 'Easy Easy' and 'Ole Ola (Mulher Brasileira)' respectively. The latter of the two features Rod Stewart and is also terrible. Domestically in England it was much of the same. The two FA Cup finalists would each release a single in a build up; the highlight being Chelsea's anthem 'Blue is the Colour' which peaked at number 5 in 1972 and stayed in the top 75 for 12 weeks.

Another single well worth a look at is Nottingham Forest's 1978 effort 'We've Got the Whole World in Our Hands' if only for the shot of Brian Clough 13 seconds in. Ol' Big 'Ed is clearly not enjoying himself.

The football songs of the 70's were hardly significant in the history of song writing. In 1981 that all changed.



With the release of 'Ossie's Dream (Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley)' Chas 'n' Dave revolutionised the football song. The Rockney duo who had opened for Led Zeppelin forced the humble football song into the modern era. Not only was it self-aggrandising and terrace friendly; it featured Ossie Ardiles singing "In de cup for Tot-ing-ham". Chas 'n' Dave followed 'Ossie's Dream' up with 'Tottenham Tottenham' in 1982 and 'Hot Shot Tottenham' in 1987. The Spurs supporting pair were often imitated (see Everton's 'Here We Go') but never duplicated. It was during the mid 80's when Chas 'n' Dave reigned supreme that the football song plague spread to America. The Chicago Bears released 'The Superbowl Shuffle' and the New York Mets 'Let's Go Mets Go'.

In 1988, to borrow a football cliche, the goal posts were moved again...



Liverpool's 1988 number 3 hit really has to be seen to be believed. It borrows from LL Cool J's 'Rock The Bells' and Eric B & Rakim's 'I Know You Got Soul' in addition to sampling 'Twist and Shout' by The Beatles. It was conceived AND co-written by Australian striker Craig Johnston and centres around the rather xenophobic idea that there weren't enough scousers in the Liverpool squad of the time. It features John Aldridge, Steve McMahon, John Barnes, Bruce Grobbelaar, Craig Johnston, Kevin MacDonald, Gary Gillespie, Steve Nicol, Ronnie Whelan, Alan Hansen, Ray Houghton, Jim Beglin, Nigel Spackman and Jan Molby, manager Kenny Dalglish, ITV commentator Brian Moore and legendary manager Bill Shankly. Not only was it full of sick rhymes it paved the way for John Barnes to do something even better.



'World In Motion' was amazingly New Order's only number 1 hit. You can forgive them for featuring Keith Allen (who would later go on to inflict Lilly on the world) because for the first time ever there was a football song which was pretty decent. Also, I dare say, a song which has some actual music credibility. It was the start of a peak in football's relationship with popular culture that would end with 1996's 'Three Lions (Football's Coming Home)'. Both songs were two of only four number 1 football songs (the other two being my starting point 'Back Home' and Manchester United and Status Quo's 'Come On You Reds' in 1994). 'Three Lions' took the musical credibility tag one step further by not even bothering to feature the chief protagonists, save for a small cameo in the video.

Everything since has been either rubbish or derided. With a new big money effort and numerous unofficial songs released every other year the people of Britain once again became cynical. The football song slowly slumped back to it's former status as a joke, tail firmly between legs. The first blow was dealt by Adam and Joe. Their 'Footie Song' summed up the football song effortlessly. Neither of them understand nor care about football and make it and the idea of the football song sound as stupid as it probably is.



Football and music will continue to collaborate for as long as both exist. At least until the next great football song we can take solace from 'Diamond Lights', 'We've Got a Feeling' and 'Head Over Heels in Love'. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Kevin Keegan...